Are You Living on Autopilot?

I caught myself doing something the other day that got me thinking. I was eating something and suddenly realized I wasn't even hungry. I hadn't made a conscious decision that I needed something to eat. I was just eating.

How often do we do that?

We walk through the kitchen and grab something without thinking about it. We sit down in front of the TV with a snack, and before we know it, the bowl is empty. We pick up our phone to check one thing and 20 minutes later we're still scrolling.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that we aren't necessarily making bad decisions in these moments. Sometimes we aren't really making a decision at all.

We're just operating on autopilot.

And eating is only one example. Think about how many times we automatically reach for our phones during the day. Or turn on the TV at night simply because that's what we always do. Maybe it's another drink, staying up later than we intended, skipping a workout, procrastinating on something important, or reacting to someone before we've really thought about what we're saying.

None of these things seem like a big deal in the moment. And once in a while, they're probably not. But repeat them day after day and they become habits. Do them long enough and those habits begin to shape how we live.

This is where I think the AOC model—Awareness, Ownership and Commitment—can be incredibly useful. Not because it's complicated, but because it forces us to slow down long enough to recognize what we're doing.

And it always starts with awareness.

Most of us want to jump right to fixing things. Eat better. Exercise more. Spend less time on our phones. Get more sleep. Stop procrastinating. Be more productive.

But how do you change something you don't even realize you're doing?

Maybe the first step isn't changing anything. Maybe it's simply paying attention.

Why did I just open the refrigerator? Am I actually hungry or am I bored? Why did I pick up my phone again? Why am I still watching TV when I told myself 30 minutes ago I was going to bed? Why am I putting off something I know I need to do?

I'm not talking about judging yourself or feeling guilty about any of it. Just notice it. Catch yourself in those moments when you're doing something without really thinking about why you're doing it.

You can't change what you don't notice.

Once you notice it, however, something important happens. You have a choice.

That's ownership.

To me, ownership isn't about blame. It's about recognizing that I probably have more control over what happens next than I sometimes want to admit.

There's a big difference between saying, "I have no willpower around sweets" and saying, "I've created a habit of eating something sweet every night."

The first statement makes it sound like that's just who I am and there's not much I can do about it. The second tells me I've developed a pattern. And if I've developed that pattern, I can work on changing it.

The same thing applies to our phones, exercise, sleep, alcohol, procrastination and dozens of other things we do every day. Awareness lets me see the pattern. Ownership reminds me that I have a say in what happens next.

Then comes commitment.

And this is where I think we sometimes make things harder than they need to be.

Commitment doesn't always mean trying harder. In fact, I've said many times that willpower is overrated. I'd much rather create an environment, system or standard that makes the better choice easier.

If I know I mindlessly snack while watching TV, maybe I stop taking food into the living room. If my phone is the first thing I reach for every morning, maybe it doesn't need to be sitting next to my bed. If I continually skip workouts because my day gets away from me, maybe my workout needs to go on my calendar just like every other important appointment. If I'm staying up too late every night, maybe I decide ahead of time when the TV goes off.

Nothing earth-shattering there.

But that's really the point.

High Performance Living isn't about waking up Monday morning and deciding you're going to completely change your life. Most of us have tried some version of that. It usually doesn't last.

It's about becoming more intentional with the small decisions we're already making every single day.

The older I get, the more convinced I am that our lives aren't shaped by a handful of huge decisions nearly as much as they're shaped by hundreds of small ones.

What we eat. How we spend our time. Whether we move our body. When we go to bed. What gets our attention. What we say yes to. What we keep putting off. How we respond to the people around us.

Any one of those choices may seem pretty insignificant today.

But they add up.

And that's why getting off autopilot matters.

Awareness allows me to recognize what I'm doing. Ownership reminds me that I have a choice. Commitment is deciding what I'm going to do about it—and then creating a way to follow through.

That's AOC.

High Performance Living isn't about being perfect. I certainly don't make the right choice every time, and I don't know anyone who does. It's about becoming more aware of the choices we're making and more intentional about the direction they're taking us.

So maybe the question isn't simply, "How do I get rid of my bad habits?"

Maybe there's a better question:

"How much of my life am I actually choosing—and how much of it am I simply repeating?"

That's worth thinking about.

Because the small choices we make today aren't just determining what we eat tonight, how much time we spend on our phone, whether we work out, or what time we go to bed.

They're slowly determining who we become.

And eventually, they become our life.

These ideas are at the heart of my book, High Performance Living, where I dig deeper into the AOC model—Awareness, Ownership, and Commitment—and how small, intentional changes can have a huge impact on how we live, work, and perform. If this article connected with you, I hope you'll check it out on Amazon: https://a.co/d/08wORD0N