There Will Be a Last Time

I have been thinking about something lately...

One day recently, while I was out walking with Max, my mind wandered to something that I hadn't given much thought to before. I was enjoying our walk, watching Max do what dogs do, stopping to investigate just about everything along the way. It was nothing out of the ordinary, just another one of our walks together. But for some reason, a thought crossed my mind that has stayed with me ever since.

There will be a last time.

Someday, there will be a last walk with Max. A last time I pick up one of my grandchildren and hold them in my arms. A last conversation with someone I love. A last family gathering when everyone is together. And the interesting thing is, most of the time, we won't know it's the last time.

We tend to think of life in terms of beginnings and endings, but we seem to place much more emphasis on beginnings. We remember the first time we did something. Our first job, our first date, the first time we held our children or grandchildren. We take pictures, celebrate milestones, and create memories around those first experiences. But what about the last times? Most of them come and go without any recognition at all.

Think about it. At some point, you played outside with your childhood friends for the last time. You probably didn't know it that day. You just went home for dinner, assuming you'd do it again tomorrow. At some point, you had your last conversation with someone who is no longer in your life. Maybe it was a parent, a grandparent, a friend, or a colleague. If you had known it would be your last conversation, would you have listened a little more closely? Asked another question? Stayed a few minutes longer? I suspect most of us would have.

The reality is that life is filled with these moments, and while we can't know when the last time will be, we can become more aware of the moments we're experiencing right now. I don't think this is about living with the fear that everything is coming to an end. That would be a pretty miserable way to go through life. Instead, it's about learning to appreciate what we have while we have it.

I've spent much of my life coaching and teaching people about high performance, and one of the principles I consistently return to is awareness. You can't improve what you don't recognize or understand. But I've come to realize that awareness isn't just about recognizing what needs to change. It's also about recognizing what's already good in our lives. The people we love, the relationships we've developed, and the experiences we sometimes take for granted. It's recognizing that some of the ordinary moments we experience today may turn out to be the ones we treasure most in the years ahead.

How often do we find ourselves so focused on what's next that we fail to appreciate what's happening right now? We're thinking about tomorrow's responsibilities while having dinner with our family. We're checking our phones during conversations or rushing through experiences because there's something else we need to get done. I've certainly been guilty of all of those things, and I suspect I'm not alone.

One of the things I've come to appreciate as I've gotten older is that some of the most meaningful experiences in life aren't necessarily the big events. They're often the everyday moments. A conversation with a friend, a walk with someone you love, laughing with your grandchildren, or sitting around a table sharing stories. None of those moments may seem particularly significant while they're happening, but someday we may wish we could experience just one of them again.

I don't think the lesson is that we need to make every moment special. That's neither realistic nor necessary. We still have responsibilities, problems to solve, goals to pursue, and things that need to get done. But perhaps we can become a little more intentional about how we experience the moments in between. Maybe that means putting the phone down, listening a little more closely, staying a few minutes longer, or simply taking the time to appreciate the people we're with.

In my AOC Model, Awareness leads to Ownership, and Ownership leads to Commitment. When we become aware that our time and experiences aren't unlimited, we have an opportunity to take greater ownership of how we spend that time. We can then make a commitment to being a little more present, a little more appreciative, and a little more intentional. Not perfectly, but more consistently. And as I've learned through years of coaching, it's often those small, consistent behaviors that make the biggest difference over time.

There will be a last time for many of the things we enjoy and many of the experiences we take for granted. That's simply part of life. But until that last time comes, we have an opportunity to appreciate the people, experiences, and moments that are right in front of us.

So maybe the answer isn't to worry about the last time. It's to pay a little more attention to this time.